- Previously on Warehouse 13...
- So...Our own Warehouse doctor, huh?
You like her. Ask the woman out.
- Do you wanna come with me for a little walk?
- I'd like that.
- Who was hugo miller? - A brilliant man.
He's...Retired.
- Artie, half of his brain is burnt out.
- Time to set things right.
- Thank you, agent Nielsen. - I'm so glad you're back.
- Hello there.
Sally stukowski, fbi.
- You've done well.
[siren wailing]
- Another one? What is this?
- She's in p.E.A. Down two minutes.
- Bp's 90 over 50. Pulse ox has dropped to 82.
- Amp of epi. - Page hillard upstairs.
[chink]
- Damn it! Just like the others.
- She's in v-fib. - Charge the paddle to 50.
Okay, and... Clear.
- What the hell?
[flatline tone]
- I've never seen anything like it.
It's why I called the cdc.
- You did the right thing to call us.
I'm gonna bring in a consultant.
I think he'll be very helpful, I'm sure.
- Thanks. - Yeah.
- Artie, where are you going
In the middle of the night?
- Ah...Ha ha.
Nowhere. No place. Why?
- Is that the coat I got you?
- This coat? Uh...So what? Yeah.
- Is that a clean shirt? - Uh...No, it's not.
Um... - Did you trim your eyebrows?
- Hmm? No.
- What's that smell?
- [sniffing]
- What? I don't... Smell anything.
- Exactly. You primped.
[gasps]
You're going to see dr. Vanessa!
- Who's...Dr. Vanessa?
- No one. - Oh, wow.
I have never had a lie hurt before.
- She's the Warehouse physician.
- And...Artie's...
Girly girlfriend.
- Uh, yeah. Dr. Calder feels
That there is an artifact
That may be causing trouble
In a hos... [object clatters]
...Pital in utah.
And she has asked me, a colleague, to consult,
And that is it!
And now, if you will excuse me!
Did I not leave enough food in your bowl?
- I'm coming with you. - Why? No. Why?
- A hospital, Artie? There will be blood.
When you faint,
Someone's gonna have to break your fall.
- Ohh... Fine. Fine.
All right.
- Are you wearing spanx? - Stop looking at me.
What are you do--just--
Oh! Hi.
We came as quickly as we could.
- Yeah. That's record time.
- Oh, blue scrubs. They quite...Become you.
I mean, it brings out the blue in your eyes and--
- Oh, thank you. - Cough, cough,
Said the uncomfortable young person.
- So...Uh, what brings us to the great salt lake...
- Oh, a series of very unusual deaths.
They called us, so called you-- - I'm sorry.
They know about the Warehouse? [cell phone chimes]
- No, no, vanessa was also on staff at the cdc.
Sorry. - Oh, oh, I get it.
So the cdc is your bruce wayne daytime face,
But you spend your dark knights with the Warehouse.
- I gotcha. - She takes great pride
In making references neither of us will ever understand, so...
- Riddle me this, batgirl.
- Is that a heart? - It was.
- I don't get it. She smoked five packs a day?
Why is it all... Cracked and dry?
- I sent a tissue sample to my lab.
One of the technicians
Who spends his weekends as an amateur botanist
Made a really strange discovery.
The heart muscle has actually metamorphosed
Into diatomaceous earth.
- What?
- Uh, kidneys, spleen, lungs...
All this woman's organs have turned to clay.
- Clay? And...You say there are others?
- We may be facing an artifact outbreak.
[ringing]
[ringing dies out]
- Aah! - Aah!
[Peter muttering]
- Artie's bedroom! - Ho ho ho ho!
- Why are we in Artie's bedroom naked?
- I don't know.
Why were you in bed with me?
- I was not in bed with you! Yu were in bed with me!
Naked! - You're naked too.
- [whimpers]
- And why are you blonde?
- I'm not blond! Oh, my god!
Oh, my god, I'm blond! What did you do?
- No! Hey, don't blame me! I mean, I'm good,
But I've never changed a woman's hair color.
- Pete, we--we--we did not...
We did not do it, did we?
- I don't remember.
- Did we get drunk? - No! No.
No. I-I know hangovers,
And I do not feel hung over.
- There...Must be some simple explanation
Why you and I would be in bed.
Together.
Naked.
With Artie's toothbrush.
- All the victims are female?
- So far, yeah. I-I ordered a dna analysis,
But that's gonna take a few days.
- Days we don't have.
But what we do have is...
- Or, is that her original dna sequencer?
- Yeah, it is. - Whose?
- Well, watson and crick, they won a nobel prize
For their proposal of the double helix nature of dna.
But all of their work was based entirely on the research of--
- Rosalind franklin, my personal hero.
- Brava, doctor. - Thank you.
- Oh, it's like watching golden gossip girls.
I'll go do something.
- Thank you.
- Artie...
I really enjoyed our walk.
The one we took-- - Me too.
It was probably the best walk I ever...Walked.
In fact, it was such a successful promenade
That I was thinking perhaps...
We should take it to the next level?
- A jog?
- Well, you know, I-I could buy shorts.
- Artie, I was kidding. - [laughs]
- I think dinner would be nice.
- Right.
- When we get to the bottom of this.
- Of course.
Of course.
- This will prove that we didn't do anything.
- You got it? - I know how
The durational spectrometer works.
- No, it's--it's the-- okay. All right.
- Right? And this--okay.
- There ya go. Fast-forward, will you?
- Okay.
Okay, so far so...
You know, we're just... Great.
- Oh...Look, we're--we're spooning.
- No. We're not.
I'm fast-forwarding. - All right.
- Are you drooling? - That's sweat.
- Look at you. You're, like, wrestling.
You're a bed hog! - I know.
- Ooh! Almost saw one of the tetons.
[laughs]
Well...[stammers] - This is not funny!
- Could be. Could be.
- Were you making a phone call?
- Uh, yeah. Maybe I ordered a pizza.
Well, nada on the nooky.
- But this only shows the last five hours.
I mean, stuff could have happened before...That.
- Okay, but who did I call,
And what does Artie's toothbrush mean?
[Farnsworth buzzing]
Artie. - What's going on there?
- Nothing! Nobody had sex. - What?
- Nothing. Just me jokin' around!
- Jokin' around!
- Why are you calling? - I'm returning your call.
- We didn't call you, Artie.
- That wasn't Pete singing the pina colada song
On my voicemail at 3:00 in the morning?
- Oh!
[laughs] that! - Right. Yeah.
- Yeah, well... - Well...
- Do you like... Taking walks in the rain?
- [sighs] it--
Myka, did you do something to your hair?
- No. It always looks like this.
- Artie, um, does your toothbrush mean anything to you?
- In the sense that it fights plaque and gingivitis,
It means a great deal to me.
- [laughs] you're--hello?
- There is only one explanation for all of us.
Aha! Several disturbances in the stacks.
See? It was an artifact that affected us.
- All right, well, let's check 'em out
And see if one of them whammyed us into...
Whammying each other.
- We did not whammy each other, okay?
And I will prove it, or I will die trying.
- Where are my shoes?
- Hey, where's steve?
- Yeah, I don't know. Uh...
I'll call him. He always answers his cell.
[cell phone trilling]
[trilling]
- That's not good.
- Nope. No, it's not.
- That's a lotta scrabble points.
- It's the genome sequence of the last victim.
- Hmm. This doesn't make sense.
That--that can't be right. I mean, that...
That's not--
That's not even... - What?
- Human. Those are not human dna sequences.
You know, people, plants, animals--
We're all carbon-based.
Carbon bonded with other elements makes up what we are,
But those gene sequences are silicon-based or...
If this is a virus and that's accurate,
It's actually changing their dna.
- Do you see it?
- See what?
- See? It's a pattern.
And it just repeats...
There. There, you see it now.
Claudia: No. - Okay.
- Whoa. How'd you see that?
- Just an old habit from my code-breaking days
At the nsa. - Code.
That's computer code.
- Of course!
It's a computer virus!
- But computer viruses only affect computers.
They don't affect people.
Unless it's super-sized by an artifact.
- We are facing a diabolical nexus of computer science
And genetic engineering run amok
That could threaten the very idea of life as we know it.
- One of you's got to be in your bedroom.
Come on.
Ah, davina, my favorite.
[dance music playing]
♪
Oh ha ha.
- Artie! - Hugo!
- Claudia! [Claudia laughing]
- Thank you so much for coming to utah on such short notice.
- What, are you kidding? I'm positively salivating
At a concept of a computer virus hybridization.
And of course I'd do anything for an old friend
Who put humpty dumpty back together again.
[both laughing]
- Hugo, uh... Let me introduce you to
Dr. Calder-- - Vee?
- Hello, huey.
- Vee.
- der plot thickens.
- I still cannot believe that it's really you.
- Well, it's really me.
Look at you. You still have that same jacket.
- Yeah. Groovy, isn't it? - Yeah.
- Never went out of style. - He's a regular fashionista.
- Says Artie in the bad jacket.
- Oh, and you still have a way with the words.
- And you had a way with me, vee.
- "cough cough," says Artie and Claudia.
- No, no, it's... - I'm sorry.
I'm just surprised as all get out to see vee.
- We started at the Warehouse about the same time.
- Remember how we used to hang out in the dark vault,
Play records?
You and me and...
[high-pitched] Mary jane?
- What we had an agent named mary jane? I don't--
- Good god, where did you come from?
- What?
- Dr. Calder, we have another victim.
- Tesla 315.
This is where the first artifact was disturbed.
- Yo! Steve-ero!
- Steve?
- I don't know. I just-- I think it's a wild--
[zap] Aah! Jeez!
Oh, god! Jeez!
Ow ow ow!
The target coil is still on.
Target practice. That's it.
That's it. We were havin' target practice, remember?
- Yes, we were talking.
He had just mentioned that he was gay,
And you were being you.
- Oh, my god, you're gay?
Finally! Thank god.
There's someone to appreciate all this.
It's a waste of time working out for these people.
Here, I'll take my shirt off.
- No! No, thanks.
- No, hey, anytime, man.
You know, I spend a lot of time on
You know, the guns and pack and, I, you know...
- Pete, I'm really good. I'm good, really.
- No, dude, I'm straight. It's cool, man.
Take--take it in.
- Pete, put your shirt back on.
- Anytime.
It's cool.
- The coil's hot.
Would you--would you like to--
- Yes, thank you. Thank you.
[coil humming]
[Tesla zaps]
- Well, not bad if you were trying to miss.
[blows raspberry]
- Firing a ray gun isn't as easy
As it looks in the movies.
- No, hey, no!
It is very hard to fire ray guns in the movies.
How many times you see a storm trooper
Hit what he's firing at?
Not once.
Hoo!
Hoo-ah!
- That's not bad.
- Hoo hoo! Not bad?
Woman, I got mad skills.
- Don't they need to recharge?
- Well, Claudia gave them an upgrade.
- Oh.
- Watch and learn, rookies.
Sha-bam!
- The shelf. - Pete!
Grab that one!
- I got it!
- [exhales]
- I think they came from up there.
- Yeah, so we should put them back.
Listen, no more fooling around.
- [laughing]
- [laughs]
- [stifling laugh]
[both laughing]
- [hiccup]
[both laughing]
- Pete, look.
We did get drunk...
Sort of.
- No, no, 'cause if I'd have gotten drunk,
I'd have slept with somebody.
[both gasp]
- The number of victims are increasing.
Did you find anything, hugo?
- Yes. The computer virus is literally rewriting
This young woman's dna.
I could spend a lifetime studying its effects.
This reminds me of the case
Involving d.B. Cooper's parachute.
- Oh, that was a weird one,
Even by Warehouse standards.
- Weird and wonderful as I recall.
- We have a lot of work to do, agent miller.
Um, how do we reverse this process?
- Well, we have to find the artifact.
If we can discover
How it made the computer virus communicable,
I could write an antivirus and we can disseminate a cure.
Ta-dah!
So, vee and I will put our heads together,
Analyze its genetic structure,
You and Claudia check out the young woman's apartment.
Maybe you'll get lucky and, uh,
Find a clue as to the artifact's whereabouts.
- Oh, that's good. That's fine.
Um, I think that you've got a firm grip on things here.
- So w.C. Fields' juggling balls
Make you drunk and pass out.
- How come every other artifact
Makes me have to call my sponsor?
- Okay, according to the log, we disturbed that one too.
Walt disney's paint brush.
- Wow.
Oh, hey, look.
Marilyn monroe's hairbrush.
This explains that.
- [laughs]
Pete?
- Yeah?
- Look.
Steve's tesla.
[rewinding]
This is so much cheaper than a salon.
- Hey, Myka?
- Yeah?
- Look.
[cartoon sound effects]
- Where you guys been?
What happened to target practice?
- ♪ happy birthday
♪ mr. Secret service agent
- [blows raspberry]
- Uh, should you guys be touching that?
- Uh-oh, it's the human lie detector.
Better not tell a fib. Ooh!
- Okay, what is this, some sort of a hazing joke, or...?
- Claudia was right about you, Jinks.
You are a poopy-pants.
- Have you guys been drinking?
- No!
- I have not had a single drop of alcohol.
- Jeez!
- Look, Artie told me that rule number one
Is never playing with the artifacts,
So why don't we just put these back?
- Stevie, stevie!
Steve, you know how the Warehouse is a really big place?
- Uh-huh. - Like, um...
You want to see something really cool?
- Oh, I don't know.
I think we should probably get back to--
- Let's go! - What?
- Come on, mr. Poopy mcpooperson.
We did something to steve.
- Something bad.
- Something very bad.
We have to figure out what it is.
[objects crashing]
- Would a machete help?
Or maybe a chainsaw.
After all, this is just a crime scene.
Okay, you know what?
Okay, you're always there for me,
As annoying as that can be,
And that can be pretty annoying.
So how about we change things up
And you let me be there for you for two minutes?
[sighs]
Artie?
Just because hugo and vanessa were an item
Back during the civil war
Does not mean they're getting back together.
You and the doc have a good thing going.
- What thing? We don't have a thing.
We have one walk.
And I limped. - Artie...
- Claudia, I...
Given my line of work
And my advanced years,
I had pretty much made peace with the fact
That I would not find...
[sighs] Romantic companionship.
Love.
And then...
Vanessa.
And so I started to hope.
False hope, it would seem.
- Artie, it's hope.
How can it be false?
- Uh, yeah. Well, can we just keep looking?
Is that all right with you?
- Okay.
No, not the computer.
No, no, no.
No, no, no, what do you doing?
From where do you think a computer virus
Is most likely to originate?
- Right. That's why you're still alive
After all these years.
Wait a second.
Tiger direct.
- Yeah, it's a computer chain store.
We passed one on the way here.
Why? What--what are you doing?
- No, don't worry. My laptop's safe.
Bingo! I just cross-referenced bank statements
From the other five victims.
They all have credit card charges from tiger direct.
- That is bingo.
- Time for annie's afternoon yoga.
- Tyler!
What the heck were you doing?
- Nothing. I was on my break.
- You're busted, my brother.
Your attitude just wrote one too many checks
Your butt can't cash.
- Whoa, uh, excuse me, mr. Shreve,
But you can't fire me.
- I just cleared it with h.R.
Enjoy your break...
Forever.
I.E., you're fired.
- Oh, fine.
And you know,
Only total jerkwads say "I.E."
Aah!
- We need to speak to the employee
That serviced these computers.
- Uh, these are all in-home calls.
When it's a home computer,
We send out one of our tiger-nicians.
Oh, this explains a lot.
Tyler struhl.
- Tyler struhl's one of your--one of your--
- Tiger-nician.
- And he repaired these computers
And he's here right now? Can we talk to him?
- I just fired him.
He was totally not tiger material.
He just left.
- What are you do--
Oh, right. Okay, go. - I'm on it.
- Yeah, go, go, go.
- He was hacking computers.
He was spying on girls
Like some techno peeping tom.
- Only female victims.
- Perv.
Hope I never see his face again.
- Attention, tiger direct shoppers.
- What the--
- Let's play 20 questions. - That's him.
- Question one.
Does the store manager, colin shreve,
Make his repairmen use old fiber optic cables
While he sells the new ones on the side to make cash?
Answer: Oh, yes.
- Little bastard.
- Question two.
Is colin banging lydia in cell phones?
Answer: Yes again.
Question 2a.
Does lydia's boyfriend, carl,
Over in digital cameras know about it?
He does now.
-what?
- How is he still in the system?
I already changed the password.
And the last question.
Does anybody mind shopping in the dark?
I don't care, losers!
[laughs]
[taps keyboard]
[pendant humming]
- Oh, my god.
It's beautiful.
Look at it.
- Look. Look at it.
Shut your eyes right now.
[light tendrils zapping]
Ah! Neat!
- Are you all right?
- Yes. What is it with the eyes?
- The eyes are the windows to the soul,
But I think also dna.
- Brilliant!
The optical nerve must act like a coaxial cable,
Downloading the virus directly through the visual cortex.
- Yeah.
- At least that's what it feels like.
Oh, my.
It appears I have once again
Looked upon something I oughtn't have.
- Yep.
- Lock these doors, officer.
- What? Why? Who the heck are you?
- Lock 'em.
Excuse me, everyone, may I have your attention, please?
My name is dr. Vanessa calder.
I work for the center for disease control.
We have a situation here in the store,
And for your own safety,
I can't let anyone leave here right now.
This is calder.
Code november.
We have a potential outbreak.
[code beeps, doors unlocking]
[sirens whoop]
[man shouting]
- I tossed tyler's apartment.
There's nothing in there, including tyler.
Are you okay?
- Yeah, I'm... We're fine.
We're fine.
We need... [whispers] the artifact,
So find him, all right?
- Wait, wait, Artie,
I've been looking over the code he used
When he hacked in, and to hack in,
He used what's called a battering ram.
It just smashes through any firewall.
It's as nasty as I've ever seen.
This guy's really good.
- Yeah, all right, just...
Anybody here know
Where would tyler struhl go other than home?
- He likes this coffee shop at fifth and archer
To pick up girls.
- How do you know that?
- I...
- I'm already there.
- Vanessa.
How you doing, hugo?
- I am doing just fine.
I am construct--
I am constructing an antivirus,
And as soon as we have that artifact...
That's your department, Artie.
We should be able to cure everyone afflicted.
- That's great. Thanks.
- Based on the rate of deterioration
Of the previous victims,
Everyone in this store has less than six hours to live,
Including hugo.
- This is the last place to record
An artifact disturbance.
Richard nixon's shoes are gone.
- So, I don't know. Maybe I put 'em on
So I could lie to steve without him knowing.
- We have to find them.
And none of these--
None of these explain what happened between us.
- Look, we aren't the first platonic friends
To ever get wasted and end up in bed together.
- I would never do that! I...
God, I don't think of you that way.
- And I don't think of you that way, either.
It's just you're my partner
And--and--and my best friend, okay?
Nothing's gonna change that,
Not even us having sex and forgetting about it, okay?
So just, let's-- let's just forget about it.
Deal?
- Deal.
- All right.
Okay.
- I found steve.
[rewinding]
[snickering]
- Wow, what is this place?
- This is the bronze sector,
Where we...Bronze stuff.
- Mykes! Mykes! Oh, my god, have you seen 'em?
- Where are they? - I can't find 'em.
- Can't find what? - I put some shoes in here.
- He has some favorite shoes.
- My favorite shoes.
- Uh, those?
- We were looking.
You found 'em!
- You found my shoes!
- You are so smart. - Dude!
That is amazing! Aah!
- Okay, you want me to get 'em?
- Sure, would you?
That's so awesome of you.
Whoo-hoo!
- What is this?
- We missed. We missed.
- Hey, what is this, man? It's not cool.
- Don't worry, dude. You'll thank me.
- Why? - Because...
Both: Probably not!
- Ooh!
- Oh!
- Oh, I should have told him to smile.
- That's okay. I'll take a picture.
- Okay. - Okay.
Okay.
Okay, now do me.
- Okay. - Okay.
- [laughing]
- Okay, let's change him back.
- Okay.
Mm-hmm.
[whirring]
What's that?
- It's a spit lock. - A what?
- It reads the dna in your spit.
- Cool.
- [spits]
- [female computer voice speaking]
Sample two denied.
- Let's do it together.
Let's try it together.
- I--oh-- [both spit]
- Denied, denied, denied.
- Oh, I got it in my hair.
- Dna!
I knew there was a reason I had his toothbrush,
And I am so glad it wasn't the reason I thought.
- Does anybody mind shopping in the dark?
Answer...
- [coughing]
- Hugo?
You all right?
- Uh...Ahem.
[coughing]
Thank you.
Oh.
Seems I'm about to give new meaning
To the phrase "dirt nap."
- You're not gonna die, hugo.
We're gonna--we're gonna figure this thing out.
- I know.
I've got a lot to live for.
You know, when I was in the sanitarium,
I apparently drew the same picture every single day.
I found one of them in my wallet
After you restored my mind last year.
Ahem.
There.
Huh.
So much time lost.
If I had it all back,
I'd spend every second of it with her.
- You'd be a fool not to.
- Oh.
Did you ever find someone, Artie?
- emet.
- Oh. I didn't realize you were homosexual.
Uh, are you what they call a bear?
- No, I don't mean emmett, the man.
I'm talking about "emet."
Look, emet, the hebrew word for "truth."
It's on his necklace.
- What does it mean?
- It means that what we are facing
Is the artifact that's behind the jewish myth
Of the golem.
16th century prague,
The rabbi judah loew
Wanted to save the jews of the ghetto from pogroms,
And so he constructed--
He created a creature-- a golem--
Hugo, entirely made of clay.
And he put the word emet, truth,
On the golem's forehead to bring it to life.
- Animating the inanimate.
- And I think maybe the necklace
Is making the computer virus come to life
Exactly the same as the golem.
Somehow, I think that the myth
And the virus got mixed up together,
So that when he uses the virus
On people's computers...
- It turned them to clay.
Well thought out, Artie.
- It's the necklace.
- I got him.
- Oh, my god.
- Hey, hey, hey, hey!
What the hell are you doing?
- Oh, my god! He's got a gun!
- Take it easy, colin.
- No. Whatever this is,
I am not gonna die from it.
Something in here is making us sick,
And you are keeping us in here with it.
- This is for your own safety. - No, careful, careful.
- I'll decide what's safe for me.
- Use your tesla.
- Claudia's got it. - Brilliant.
- Colin, I can't let you leave.
- I'll shoot you.
- You'll have to.
- Now the doctor's got it!
- We've gotta get out of here!
- He's right. We're gonna all get out of here.
- The virus is mutating.
- It can be transmitted person to person.
- It's organic. - Obviously.
- We can't let it get out of this store.
- No, no, no.
[panicked shouting in background]
[rock music]
♪
- Unh!
- [gasping]
- Help!
Help!
- Let us out! - Everybody calm down!
[machine gun fire]
Drop the weapon!
Now! - Okay. All right.
I'm dropping it.
- Step away from the door!
- [coughing]
- This mutation's working much faster.
- It's getting hard to breathe.
Okay.
I'm a big enough girl to admit
I'm a little scared.
- We need the artifact.
- I know, I know,
But she said she's got him. She's gonna be here.
You've got to finish the antivirus.
You gotta do it now. - All right, I'll get on it.
- Hang on, hang on.
- [coughing]
- [grunting]
[gasping]
Damn it. [gasps]
- Why are you chasing me?
- I'm not chasing you. I'm falling to my death.
Pull me up!
[panting]
Thank you.
- All I did I was hack a few p.C.S
To try and catch a little skin show. That's it.
- For all I care,
You can be the biggest cyber hacker since...
Me.
But I need that necklace, okay?
It's dangerous.
- What are you talking about?
- I don't know how to explain it to you,
But it's... It's hurting people.
- It's nothing.
It's a thing that my great uncle gave me
To ward off evil spirits.
- Okay. Well, it doesn't so much ward them off
As invite them over for a play date.
- Well, I didn't mean for anybody to get hurt.
- Well, give me the necklace and maybe we can fix it.
- But why would we bronze steve?
- I mean, sure, he's a boy scout
With no sense of humor, right?
But we've got nazis in here.
- It explains the toothbrush,
But not how we wound up in bed together.
[rewinding]
- Pete, remember?
That thingy--that thingy with the juggle balls said
That the juggle balls make you drunk and black out,
And when you black out,
You forget things, don't you?
- Oh, my god!
Holy crap, wendy!
Oh, my god!
You are so right!
Oh! If we don't remember what happened to mr. Poopy-pants,
He could be lost in there forever.
- Quick! Take off all your clothes!
- What? - Take 'em off.
- Okay, but sometimes when big--
When big Pete drives drunk,
Little Pete doesn't always stay on the road.
- Ah.
- Ohh!
- Just waking up together wouldn't be enough.
We got into bed naked
So it would look like we slept together.
- Something that would never...
- Ever happen.
Something that I knew I wouldn't rest
Until I proved it was false.
- Which would hopefully get us to retrace our steps.
- And lead us back down here.
Ready?
[bronzer beeps]
- Computer voice: Agent Nielsen identified.
[whirring]
- What was that?
What did you guys do to me? What happened?
- [laughs] what are you talkin' about?
- Where the hell have you been, Jinks?
Shouldn't you be at target practice?
- I'm actually disappointed in you, steve.
- Shame, shame, shame.
Slacker!
- Z-v...
26...
V-8...
Z-26.
[groans]
- What's the matter?
Hugo, you gotta keep working.
We need the antivirus.
- Artie, I can't see.
- Oh, my god. All right, all right.
If you could just-- you tell me what to do.
- Uh...Uh...
Artie, Artie, I need you to tell vanessa something.
- You can tell her yourself when you cure her.
Just tell me what to type.
- All right, z-x... - Yes, yes.
- Slash... - Slash.
- V-37... - V-37.
[Farnsworth buzzing]
- I'm here. I have the necklace.
How do I get this to you?
- Hold on. I'm coming.
Throw it at the window!
- What--why?
It'll just bounce right--
- Claudia, just do it.
- How's your fastball?
- Now!
- Great. Come on.
- I got it.
- How? How did you get it?
- Got it through the window.
I used the inkwell of francois villon,
15th century poet and thief.
Bad poet, great thief.
It doesn't matter. Is the code finished?
- Yes, it's finished.
Just hit "enter."
It'll disseminate the antivirus.
But, Artie, curing that many people at once,
There's no telling what'll happen
To the person wearing the artifact.
- You're absolutely right.
Take care of her, hugo.
- Right.
[computer beeps]
- Everyone, look-- look at the screens.
[light tendrils crackling]
- [relieved sigh]
- Artie...[laughs]
You did it!
- Artie.
Artie.
- Is this heaven?
I guess not.
[siren wails]
- He didn't know about the virus, Artie.
- Artie! Claudia! It's all good!
Vee talked to the hospital.
The young woman is fine.
- Oh, great.
- Huh? - That's wonderful.
- Do we make a team? - We do.
- All right. - Yeah.
[laughs]
- So you got plans now?
You're--you're probably goin' back to eureka.
- Eureka? No.
I think I've had just about enough of that town.
- [laughing] - She spent some time there.
- Every week, something seems to go boom.
I mean, I think I'm gonna look for something
A little more sedate,
A little more peaceful.
- Well, I hope you're happy.
- I know I'll be happy. Was this fun? Aah!
- It was...Something.
- Aw. See you, hugo.
- [sighs]
- Hey.
- What? Oh.
Hi.
- Hi.
- Yeah, I know.
I...I...
I figured.
Uh, listen, I know that we had dinner plans,
But I hope
That you know I wish you and hugo nothing but the best.
Well, certainly, if I'm wishing him the best,
I'm wishing him you,
Because...
- No, no, no.
When I said I have to go,
I mean, I have to go home.
I'm going to atlanta.
- What? But...You and hugo are--
- No, we are not.
We were.
Artie, when hugo looks at me, he...
He sees this girl.
This young girl,
She lives inside of me somewhere,
But, you know, she's just a small part of me now.
When you look at me, you see me.
[soft music]
♪
You, sir, owe me a dinner.
A very nice dinner.
- Eee!
- Hey, look, like I said to that girl,
I never meant to hurt anybody, all right?
So, you know, maybe there could be some consideration,
Like, um, not sending me to jail.
- Take it easy, kid.
Somebody wants to talk to you.
Maybe we can find a solution to your legal troubles.
- Who, like a lawyer or something?
- Somethin'.
- Hey, man, are you a cop or not?
- Used to be.
In another life.
[door opens]
- Hello there, tyler.
I hear you're very good with computers.
Use the siren, marcus.
Our employer is quite anxious
To meet with tyler here.
[siren wailing]
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